Blogophilia week 2.5 – “…on the Rocks” (part 4)

March 4, 2012 11 comments

Blogophilia 1.5 Topic: “Going the Extra Mile” (part 3)

“One Adam Four. We have word from our Governor, as a courtesy to Mr. Schwarznegger, shoot to kill the suspect. I repeat, lethal force is authorized.”

“Roger. I have suspect in sight. They are going the extra mile trying to cross Rabbit Ridge, a sitting duck…Wait. They’ve dropped on the rocks. Must of fallen into a mine shaft. Roll EMTs and Fire Rescue.”

“Roger. ETA is 20 minutes.”

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“Someone on the ridge has fallen into a mine!” Thomcat yelled.

“You stay here,” Arnold barked out at Tyler. “Let’s go.” Arnold and Thomcat started racing up the slope.

Tyler was feeling a growing sense of comprehension… He looked around and opened up his journal. Earlier, he had started to write down the nursery rhyme as:

Ohio, the land held dear

Taft, big and filled with hair

His early talents were unearthed

when he was still a minor

Now the pieces were getting clearer, it might be:

Ohio, the land held DEER
Taft, big and filled with HARE
 His early TALENTS were unearthed
when he was still a MINER

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Oh boy, a lost Taft mine at Rabbit’s Ridge in Deer Coulee. It all fits! Taft was known for paying for everything in gold or silver bars. So talents must refer to the old measurement for precious metals, and mining was how Taft assembled such a large campaign fund. And mining must be the first of the Twelve Labors of Taft, the American Hercules!

And Arnold’s first movie was Hercules in New York… Could he have been thinking of following Taft’s footsteps that early? Maybe his weightlifting career was more about equaling Taft’s prodigious strength and completing the massive labors? Or, finding the Coat and saving a lot of effort–80% of the electoral votes for Taft came from 20% of the states.

Tyler shut the notebook with disgust, it was obvious Arnold was way ahead of everybody. But, Taft was unlikely to hide the Inaugural Coat of Many Colors at the site of his first Labor… Time to figure out the other labors and jump ahead of Arnold and Thomcat. Where was Sallon, anyway?

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*One Adam Four. What is your status?”

“I’m on the rocks. Definitely a mine cave-in.”

“One Adam Four. Detain the man with red socks at Arnold’s restaurant…”

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Blogophilia 2.5 Topic: “…on the rocks”
Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2pts): incorporate the 80/20 principle – 80% of the electoral votes for Taft came from 20% of the states…
(Easy, 1pt): mention an Olympic sport which uses heavy metal – weightlifting
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Categories: Blogophilia

Blogophilia 40.4 Topic: “Major Damage”

December 5, 2011 7 comments

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(if you click on the photos, they are easier to read)

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Tyler was stunned. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, the comptroller had no idea that I knew you,” Sallon replied. “It was just gossip to him.”

“Bruce Willis never even attended my school in Mankato. This makes no sense.”

“It was a secret college rule, the grant would go to the person who made the biggest impact in promoting Mankato. You would have won easily when you put up a Mankato banner, and put all the spots on it during the Aerosmith concert—but Willis uttered ‘Mankato’ in a guest appearance on Miami Vice. $5800 bucks, Tyler, should have gone to you.”

Tyler knew Sallon was just winding him up for her own purposes. But he was so angry at the injustice, he didn’t care. It was time for Willis to Die Hard…

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Blogophilia 40.4 Topic: “Major Damage”

Bonus Points:

(Hard, 2pts): include a secret college rule

(Easy, 1pt): incorporate foreign sunsets

Final date to post BLOG: December 6th, 2011 GMT (TUESDAY) midnight

Final date to post ALL GUESSES: December 4th, 2011 GMT (SUNDAY) midnight**

**if you are having trouble converting GMT to your local time, midnight GMT is 7pm Eastern or 4pm Pacific time (the date is the previous day)

Please highlight or otherwise point out your bonus points attempts. Don’t forget to guess who picked the topic and the bonus picture as well as guessing the secret word or phrase for a chance at more points.

Categories: Blogophilia

Blogophilia 35.4 Topic: “You Can’t Have That”

October 26, 2011 5 comments

Ruz shivered. The desert air was so cold, it cut right through the delicate caftan she was wearing. For so long she had desired attending a writers’ workshop with the Blogophiliacs—she just hugged herself and looked to the starlit sky.

Her journal was still blank—the thick, creme-colored paper ready to take her flow of feelings, and restless thoughts. The first exercise was to find a plant and establish a relationship with it. This was her hangup—she’d wandered the desert day and night for three days without establishing a special relationship with any plants. The other writers were on their second journals already, and they’d been publishing wild stories of plant conversations.

Lainey had a bright red journal, with a Canadian maple leaf design on the cover. And she was writing wonderful stories of maple trees and mountain ferns—and they were sharing tales of grizzly claws, and beaver teeth. Scary, edge-of-the-seat plant stories… But Ruz hadn’t seen any of those plants in the desert. Lainey must be making up all the stories and not really doing the exercise. It would be wrong to tattle… But maybe she should say something to the group leader, Marvin. Ruz started to jot down her observation, and then went back inside the Moonfire Lodge.

Myke was still communing with that beat-up cactus. The only plant that had spoken to Ruz, and it was taken. The cactus told her that Myke was all wrong about cactus—they really did need SOME watering. The cactus was mad, it thought this was the worst seminar, ever. It really didn’t like Boomie playing every darn Abba song, either. She wrote that in her journal as well.

Tyler had the blue journal containing the dialogues with the highland blue agave plants. Again, this was so suspect—the desert was flat here for one thing. And why would the blue agaves give Tequila brewing advice? Does he really think they want to be harvested and distilled? She wrote furiously about this deception.

And Sallon? The much vaunted green-diaries-of-Sallon, Sallon? Some stories from Bouteloua dactyloides… Ruz knew from watching Little House on the Prairie that was High Plains Buffalo grass. Oh, how exciting to learn how drought resistant and nutritious it was for livestock. Yawn. Still, it was not likely out here in the desert. Sallon probably wrote those journal entries during the Mankato years. Ruz glared at Sallon and noted in her diary her reservations about Sallon’s writing assignment.

“I think everyone is back to the Lodge,” Marvin called out. “Would anyone like to share today’s plant conversation?”

Ruggi stood up, “The tulip was concerned about proper bulb storage. It felt that was a time it was vulnerable to bruising and damage.” The class clapped, and Ruggi sat down beaming. Ruz rolled her eyes, don’t these people get it? Tulips in the desert? Come on… She got up quickly, dropping her journal as she was gathering up her caftan.

“You dropped this, Ruz,” David said helpfully. She twirled around in alarm and snatched the journal from his hands. “Oh, I didn’t read it.” He said, his face innocent, but eyes darting in a shifty manner.  Ruz felt her face flush, this journal was supposed to be private! Only a dialogue between her and her special plant friend. How dare someone read it. She was getting madder by the minute.

“Verrry eentersting!” Nissmech remarked, holding her opened journal. “I think you grabbed David’s journal out of his hands. He meant you dropped your pen. Now I don’t like tattling, but Marvin should know you don’t think my blueberry conversation was genuine!” Nissmech’s voice was icy, his features a cold, darkening blue.

Ruz looked around the room—Nissmech had better not say anything more! “You can’t have that!” She gasped as she reached for her journal…

Blogophilia 35.4 Topic: “You Can’t Have That”

Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2pts): include a reference to the 60s series “Laugh In” ~ Verrry eenteresting… a Laugh In catch phrase
(Easy, 1pt): tattle on another Blogophiliac

Categories: Blogophilia

Lean on me…

October 8, 2011 7 comments

Utrecht, 2004

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“Are you, or are you not the leader of the Vigilantes?” the prosecutor screamed at Ruggi.

“No, I mean I was at the vigil, but I’m—”

“Enough! Mealy-mouthed semantics! Judges, esteemed members of the Council of Elders, it is clear this witness is in contempt of everything the Greatest Generation holds dear. He led this—this so-called vigil—in complete defiance of the Council’s moratorium on Dom Tower modifications. The council’s subcommittee responsible for studying various plans  has, by law, until January 2028 to compile their report. Do we let the ‘Chosen Generation,’ he sneered, “pick and choose our laws? Nay, once we let the choice of a generation—a lesser generation!—seize control of our landmarks… Utrecht is doomed! I say let the punishment fit the crime—we need to set an example for all generations.” The Prosecutor scowled at Ruggi, and bowed to the Council before taking his seat.

Ruggi didn’t know if he could leave the witness box, nobody had really said he was excused. The whole Council of Elders was glaring at him, it didn’t look promising. A group of his friends had all pitched in when he suggested a mock nave being constructed out of scaffolding to connect the tower to the Cathedral. It looked great, and the press jumped on the bandwagon, calling them the “Chosen Generation,” the generation that would close the gap created by the 1674 tornado.

The authorities had reacted strongly, sending in the All-Orange Fire Brigade to tear down the scaffolds. And then setting crowd control barriers on the streets to isolate the tower. A simple protest vigil, and more over-reactions leading to his arrest.

“Ruggi! Stand and approach the Council’s Bench! You are hereby sentenced to 10 years hard labor. The sentence is suspended as long you stay 500 meters from the Dom Tower at all times, and cease all this vigilante behavior.”

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Utrecht, 2011

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Lainey pointed to the Dom Tower and screamed, “It’s shaking!” She and Jean waved frantically at Ruggi scootering up on his bike, to get his attention. Lainey had won a trip to Utrecht in a poker game in Minot, drawing a royal flush to beat Josh Duhamel’s straight flush, and her four-of-a-kind deuces stunning the crowd as he feebly played three aces.  A simple sightseeing jaunt to the world famous Dom Tower had turned the trip into a nightmare…

“Ruggi, over here!” Ruggi spotted them, hopped off his bike and started to saunter over. He was dressed as a Matador, complete with a cape and rakish mask. “Hurry, Ruggi!” Jean hissed.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly,” he replied with a smirk. Then he noticed where they were pointing. Was it an earthquake? The tower was definitely shaking from side to side. “Myke?”

Myke came barreling through the thick crowd of teenagers, elbowing and shoving his way forward. “It’s a flash mob, the kids have packed the Dom Tower and every Tweet North, they all jump to the North-side, then they Tweet South, and hurl themselves to the South-side. Like rocking a boat.”

“Somebody has to go in there and tell them to knock it off, they’ll topple the tower otherwise,” Lainey said heatedly. “Ruggi, you are the only one the speaks Dutch.” Jean added.

“It’s the younger generation, they don’t trust anyone over 30.” He replied. “I’m also on probation, if I take the law into my own hands, I can be accused of being a vigilante.”

“Ummm, Ruggi, you would be a vigilante, taking the law in your own hands is pretty much the definition.” Myke said reasonably. “You can still get through to the tower, I’ll help you make it through this gap—”

“They just listen to iPods, and Tweets, there is no reaching the younger generation directly. But I’ll go…”

*   *   *

The tower continued to rock that fateful day—until a masked man rushed into the tower and caused a panic when he drew his sword, sending the younger generation fleeing. The Dom Tower today continues to lean, now having the distinction of being the most-leaning tower in the world. The Chosen Generation believes they know the identity of that masked super-hero, but no one has come forward to claim the glory. The tower now leans farther away from the Cathedral than ever, the people of Utrecht mutter over the new generation gap…

Blogophilia 32.4 Topic: “The Choice of a Generation”
Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2pts): incorporate a quote from actress Mae West ~  Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
(Easy, 1pt): mention two types of poker hands (as in Flush, Straight, etc.)

Final date to post BLOG: October 11th, 2011 GMT (TUESDAY)

Categories: Blogophilia

What a Day!

September 26, 2011 10 comments

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Tyler looked worried as he scanned the news report. Molly Sims had Josh Duhamel at her wedding on Saturday? After the blowup they had when Las Vegas was cancelled in midseason, Tyler had thought it was no big deal to run Silver Moose TV’s “Project Accessory” by the actor last Friday in LA. A cameo of the The Black Eyed Peas would be so perfect for the opening of the reality series. But they had to shoot fast—while Molly was on her honeymoon. If her Lifetime Cable “Project Accessory” hit the airwaves first—it would be a disaster!  What a day, he raged, as he speed-dialed Sunflower Woman.

Dahlia, this is Tyler. We might have a problem.”

She could tell by his voice this was serious, “I’ve got zucchini bread just ready to come out of the oven, hold on a sec.” Tyler fumed as he paced. “OK, what’s happening?”

“Molly Sims might know about our Project Accessory.”

“HOW? I thought she was all focused on her wedding?” Dahlia rose from the kitchen table and was clearly ticked. Hosting this reality show was a dream of a lifetime, imagine going to up-and-coming designers and giving them challenges on shoes, purses and jewelry design. She couldn’t wait to start filming. And nothing tacky, like a rhinestone skull bracelet! “We need to start filming right away!” She practically screamed.

“David is in Minot, some poker game with his Twin’s buddies at Duhamel’s restaurant.” Tyler winced, he didn’t want the subject of blabbing to Duhamel to get out. “It’s probably four hours at the earliest for him to get to Mpls/St. Paul International and get a flight to the West Coast.”

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Duhamel signaled “all-in” as he faced the last player in the hand, David. “Did you hear Molly and Scott are getting divorced?” He said casually to distract the producer.

“That’s unbelievable! They just got married two days ago, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, Stacy and I were in California for the ceremony. Just got back to North Dakota this morning. I saw Tyler, by the way. He said you have a new series in pre-production.”

David looked stunned, this information was closely held. And the last person they wanted to have find out was Molly. She could get her series up and going faster, they’d be out their whole investment. “I fold. I’d better call it a night.”

Josh smiled to himself. These whales came to Minot and let him wear his Las Vegas series gambler’s glasses. His vision was perfect—but the special effects glasses could read the deck. Suckers! He had been bluffing, not even a pair.

Too bad about Molly and Scott, but he hadn’t thought the marriage would last. Even if he hadn’t said anything to her about the series… He pulled out Tyler’s new watch, I wonder if Tyler has noticed it’s missing, he laughed. A little gaudy, are those rhinestones, or real jewels? What a day, he sighed in satisfaction.

He didn’t wish Molly had chosen him. No hard feelings, they’d just be friends… That whole shattered episode. Damn that still hurt. She’d called him shallow, self-centered, dishonest, a totally amoral creep. Well, she’d get what she has coming. Damn straight.

And that punk rocker from California that Tyler introduced him to that rolled her eyes at his rhinestone skull bracelet—he’d bide his time.

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Blogophilia 31.4 Topic: “What A Day!”
Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2pts): include 3 types of flowers
(Easy, 1pt): include a rhinestone
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Final date to post BLOG: October 4th, 2011 GMT (TUESDAY) midnight
Final date to post ALL GUESSES: October 2nd, 2011 GMT (SUNDAY) midnight
Categories: Blogophilia

Blue Sea Me ~ Blogophilia 30.4 Topic: “A Nest of Vipers”

September 25, 2011 10 comments

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Blue Sea Me

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Breath held blue , Set Designer Tyler’s octopus’s rock garden

reeks of impending death. Wet beguiler, damsel dancer bent

in first position plie, begs for mighty Poseidon’s Blue Sea pardon.

Cast ashore, across a nest of vipers,  her graceful, leaping descent,

deepens our lament as her second position plie unfolds in poisonous

torment. Imagine her fading, writhing third position plie,

held to ironic strains of Dear Prudence cries, ’til ambiguous

moans relent, and Lainey’s violin represents… Damsel’s goodbye.

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Blogophilia 30.4 Topic: “A Nest of Vipers”

Bonus Points:

(Hard, 2pts): do 3 plies each in a different position (example: You can do plies in either multiple “positions” – feet together and parallel, feet together and turned out, and so on)

(Easy, 1pt): mention the word ‘blue’ three times.


Final date to post blog: September 27th, 2011 GMT midnight.

Final date to post ALL GUESSES: September 25th, 2011 GMT midnight.

Categories: Blogophilia

Sacré Bleu! ~ Blogophilia 29.4 Topic: “Today, Not Tomorrow”

September 14, 2011 10 comments

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Memphis 1981

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“Get off the stage!” The waitress yelled from the dining room.

Myke and Nissmech removed their shades. Soul Man was their trademark number, and each night the crowds were getting more out of hand. On the left, Nissmech noticed a patron approaching the stage with a broken Coke bottle. “I wouldn’t if I were you.” Nissmech snarled into the microphone—Myke shifting forward as well. The punk just muttered, looked at the duo, and backed away.

“Boys, let’s call it a night. I’ll treat ya’ll to bucket a ribs, on the house. Oysters for you, Nissmech?” Lusty’s Rusty Bucket O Ribs was the first place Myke and Nissmech had played back in ’76. They had won a brand new ’76 Dodge, painted a flame on the door and launched their blues career—right on that very stage.  Lusty hated to say it, but she had no choice. “That’s it for the contract, boys.”

“We have tomorrow night!” Myke shot back.

Today, not tomorrow is where we call it good. Let’s not make this the long goodbye. You know I love you, Sugars. Put on the aprons, how many bibs?” At Lusty’s Memphis BBQ, the diners knew her sauces caused permanent stains, and those the know wore an apron, with plenty of bibs. The ribs came steaming hot, in a bucket of her secret recipe sauce, causing mouths to water as well as the eyes. And rare Memphis blue oysters swirled in her indigo stew.

Nissmech sat down first, “I don’t know what more we can do at this point. I feel it is my fault—Aykroyd was my friend, and I trusted him.” Dan had started hanging around their Blues Brothers act after starting on SNL. Neither Myke or Nissmech had any idea he was writing a screenplay of their life, and just changing a few details so they couldn’t sue him. After the movie hit the theater, crowds turned on them, believing they were trying to copy and cash in on the movie.

“Water under the bridge, he had me fooled as well.” The waitress slammed down a bucket of ribs, sloshing the sauce over Myke. He just wiped it away and started to dig in. “What hurts more, is Lusty giving us the boot. When we came here her best act was that dancer Kandi from Iowa. And she took off like a scalded cat after we started to rock the house. We saved Lusty’s business.”

“Nice figure, but Kandi couldn’t dance worth beans,” Nissmech laughed. “OWWWWWW! Sacré bleu!” he screamed, falling back.[1] The waitress was spilling the piping hot blue oyster stew on his head.  They hadn’t recognized her, but Kandi was back.

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Blogophilia 29.4 Topic: “Today, Not Tomorrow”
Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2pts): include a Raymond Chandler Novel – The Long Goodbye
(Easy, 1pt): mention a brand of soda – Coke

Final date to post: September 20th, 2011 GMT midnight
Final date to post ALL GUESSES: September 18th, 2011 GMT midnight
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[1] Dave Nissmech was not severely injured in this blog post. The stew was hot, but not scalding hot. Sadly, the blue oysters stew does stain, and it is permanent. And since 1981, Nissmech’s commitment to the blues has been visibly… skin deep.
Categories: Blogophilia