Home > Blogophilia > Blogophilia 5.4 – A Crazy Twist of Fate

Blogophilia 5.4 – A Crazy Twist of Fate

Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman! It is time for another edition of America’s best loved game show… Family Feud. With your new host, Charlie Sheen! Let’s have a warm round of appreciation… Stand up and clap. Cut.

Director: Let’s just keep moving, Don. We’ll use stock footage for the audience on this one. Audience, you can file out.

Charlie: Welcome everybody. Today is a great day for a winner like me. I can do more hosting than any two and a half men could.

Director: Charlie, keep to the script. Stay focused.

Charlie: Let’s meet our contestants. This week is a celebrity challenge and we have a team from the unreleased movie Zodiac facing off with and all-star ensemble from the movie Kaleidoscope.  Starting with Zodiac, David II. Producer, Director and author of the new bestseller See Mankato on Ten Bucks a Day. Welcome to the show. Who do you have with you today.

David II: Sallon Newlove, producer and author of The Woman Behind the Green Diaries of Sallon Newlove.

Charlie: Shall we have a kiss? Mwah. You ever need to a place to crash, just stay with me and my girlfriends.

Director: Charlie, stay focused on the show.

Charlie: And then Tyler Myrth. A choreographer who specializes in tap dancing? Fascinating I’m sure. Let’s move on. D. J. Myke, a record producer from Tennessee who has just released a new Metal Goth CD set called The Best Damn Goth Banjo Picking from Austin City Limits. Far out album, but needs more cowbell. Just speaking as a winner to a winner. And it appears the last member of the team is a bear? Is this thing dead?

David II: That is Zodiac, I’ve hypnotized him for your protection. SGI’s Lissa and the Falcon are standing by as expert in dangerous animal control, just in case.

Charlie: OK, now to the Kaleidoscope team. Sassy Sue is the producer. Can you introduce your team for us?

Sue: We have directors Clint Eastwood and Ron Howard. My client, screenwriter Ruggi.

David II: Objection! Charlie, Ruggi was our screenwriter. He never wrote Kaleidoscope.

Charlie: Ruggi, it says here your favorite sports are football, which I guess you mean soccer, and farmer golf?

Ruggi: Yes, Charlie. And the Tour de France.

Charlie: Well, he can stay on Sue’s team. I like Dutch soccer myself. Wish that damn octopus would have selected them. And the last member of Kaleidoscope is Christopher, another government employee?

Christoper: I handled the movie permit for my town on Kaleidoscope.

Charlie: Well then let’s get this feud started!

Ruggi: You were supposed to mention I am writing a docu-drama on skid row. Honey, I Shrunk the Skids.

Zodiac: Roar.

*    *   *

Director: What caused the bear to go berserk?

The Falcon: We used honey as a hypnotic trigger to attack on the movie. Don’t use the word around Zodiac.

Director: He seems to be stuck with his big, fat belly in the stage trapdoor.

Lissa: That is a crazy twist of fate, we hid pots of honey under the stage. Where is our assistant, Robin? Christopher, Robin, can we free this bear from being stuck?

Blogophilia 5.4 Topic: “A Crazy Twist of Fate”

Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2pts):Mention 3 Sports
(Easy, 1pt):Use Tap Dancing

Final date to post: April 5th, 2011 GMT midnight
Final date to post ALL GUESSES: April 2nd, 2011 GMT midnight

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Categories: Blogophilia
  1. April 4, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Actually I heard charlie pissed off an audince in Detroit but not in Chicago – in Detroit they threw Ostrich eggs at him

    you have a one track mind don’t you ?
    I wanna hear Myke’s tunes !!! More cowbell yep yep (LMAO)
    clint and ron – no no no How did Chris get into the mix ??

    The vid is for Myke

    http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/snl-more-cowbell.html

  2. sue
    April 4, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    no comment n the vid ??
    Silly David – I am too lovable to dislike

  3. April 4, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    So good to see you writing again. Chuckled my way through this. I miss the blogophilia gang sending hugs

  4. tyler
    April 4, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Ruggi is a complete turncoat. (Of course hanging out with Sue is probably fun) I may have to burn my camelhair carpets in protest.

    • sue
      April 4, 2011 at 3:54 pm

      You bet it’s fun !! David is just an old crank curmudgeon !!

  5. winksinsearchofself
    April 4, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    LOL Winning! Good one David. There are so many places to go with Sheen that you just cant go wrong. Winning! Nice work on the writing too.

    Wendy

  6. April 4, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Now I was hoping that the bear would take on Sheen, with his Adonis DNA and tiger blood it could have been close match. LOL Love the smiles you give out, so glad you wrote this week.

  7. April 4, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    Now that is the perfect trigger word! Silly Ruggs had to go and say it. 😀

  8. April 4, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Maybe we should think of a new trigger word? Something like saltybanana? What do you think?

  9. DJ Myke
    April 4, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    You would not believe the amount of hate mail I have been receiving on this series, since my little slip of the tongue, regarding BJing The Bear. I will never be able to look at another jar of honey again. Sheesh!

  10. DJ Myke
    April 4, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Here is the re-mix of Fat Boy Slim’s “Weapon of Choice” featuring some unknown phenom dancer. Note: Tyler choreographed all these steps. This boy got more moves than Ex-Lax.

  11. DJ Myke
    April 4, 2011 at 9:53 pm
  12. ThomCat
    April 4, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    As always, a fun read there David!

  13. April 4, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    LOL! I think Christopher, Robin are over trying to cheer up Eyore because his show, ‘The Galapagos Donkeys’ was preempted by yours…just sayin!

  14. Marvin Martian
    April 5, 2011 at 12:49 am

    Hmm. a bit presumptious of you to think that you can cut it this close and get away with it, don’t you think? 🙂 8 points Earthling! 🙂

  15. Kaleidoscope's Writer
    April 21, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    Phew, I need to look around outside FB a bit more it seems. Run into the most intriguing bits on here! And yesss, soccer is great! But I do wish that damn octopus had favoured us for the grand finale… *sigh*

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